The break up conversation. Whether you’re the one initiating the conversation, or receiving the news, it’s not going to be fun. And the same can be said of the resignation conversation.
While there is no good way to break up with your life partner, there is a right way to break up with your law Partner.
Ultimately, it comes down to your delivery. It’s critical that you break the news in a way that is direct, definitive, and gracious.
A few tips to steer you in the right direction.
This is NOT a betrayal.
Feeling nervous or guilty is understandable, particularly if you have a longstanding and/or close relationship with your employer. No-one wants to be the bearer of bad news, or source of disappointment.
But let’s be clear. This is not about a betrayal. You’ve made a decision to take your career to the next level. You are taking ownership and control of your career – no one else can do that for you. This is one of those situations where you are supposed to be selfish. Own it.
Be definitive.
In delivering your resignation, avoid the urge to use apologetic, unclear or indecisive language in order to ‘soften the blow’. This can actually have the reverse affect if your employer misinterprets your hesitance as an invitation to convince you to stay.
For example, delivering your resignation by saying, “I’ve been made an offer, and I think I’m going to accept it, it’s been a really hard decision, but I just wanted to tell you where I’m at”, screams uncertainty, and to an employer, uncertainty screams wiggle room.
Your resignation should be a statement of fact, not a conversation or debate.
Be firm and definitive in your delivery in order to convey the fact that you are confident in your decision that this is the right move for your career. Make it clear that your decision-making process is done and dusted.
Tell your employer that you:
- have accepted an offer;
- have signed and returned the contract; and
- are giving notice of your resignation.
Don’t waffle.
Resist the temptation to walk your employer through your decision-making process. You don’t need to convince them that it’s the right decision for you or justify your thought process.
That said, you should be prepared to explain why you have decided to move on. I suggest focussing on a single reason – one that your current employer cannot remedy. It could be the nature of the work that you want to be doing, the opportunity to join a national or international firm, to go in-house, progression opportunity or simply time to try something new.
And speaking of waffles….
All hail the Love Sandwich.
To be clear, I’m 100% not saying you should remove any and all emotion or sensitivity from the dialogue. To the contrary, being gracious, respectful and thoughtful in your delivery are key.
But how do you balance being definitive and firm with being gracious and positive?
Enter the Love Sandwich. The actual statement of your resignation should be snugly sandwiched between two very grateful and appreciative buns.
For example:
- I’ve really enjoyed my time here, being part of a great team, and I’m truly grateful for the experience and the doors it has opened/ opportunities that have come my way.
- [RESIGNATION STATEMENT]
- This was not a decision I took lightly but it is the right decision for me and my career. I’m really excited for this next chapter and I genuinely want to thank you for your ongoing support.
Just do it.
9 times out of 10, the anticipation is more painful than the deed itself. So, don’t procrastinate.
Listen to George Costanza, and “do it like a band aid, one motion, right off!”